Rage, Grief and Midlife...What No-one Ever Tells You

Dear You, 

There’s a quiet unraveling that can begin in midlife.
You might not notice it all at once—but one day, the mirror feels unfamiliar.
The things that used to bring joy feel dull.
The lightness between you and your partner is harder to find.
And deep down, you might be wondering, “Where did I go?”

If you're feeling off in ways you can’t quite explain—more anxious, more sensitive, more short-tempered, more everything—you are not crazy. You are not failing. And you are definitely not alone.

This is perimenopause. Or menopause.
And it’s not just hot flashes and missed periods—though those can be brutal.

It’s rage that hits you out of nowhere, like a wave you didn’t see coming.
It’s feeling like you're walking around with no skin—everything grates, everyone needs something, and you’re just… done.
It’s the quiet scream inside when someone calls you “hormonal” or jokes about your mood.
It’s the bone-deep resentment that no one warned you about this, that you're supposed to keep functioning while your insides are being rearranged.

And it’s grief, too.
Grief for the woman you used to be.
For the energy, libido, skin, spark you once had.
For the sense of knowing yourself that now feels slippery and out of reach.

Your GP might tell you you’re depressed.
Your partner might feel shut out.
Your family might wonder what’s going on—and honestly, so might you.

But here’s what I want to whisper to you (or maybe shout, depending on the day):
You are not broken.
This is a hormonal shift. An identity shift. A life shift.
And it’s valid. It’s real. It’s powerful.

Your body may be asking for something new.
Your relationships may need deeper conversations.
Your inner world may be burning down what no longer fits.

And that rage? That sacred anger?
It’s the sign that your boundaries are shifting. That you’re waking up. That something inside you refuses to keep living small.

In my work with women and couples, we create space for this exact season.
To make sense of the disconnect.
To soften the shame.
To learn how to speak your needs with clarity and care—without apologising for them.
To help your partner understand what’s happening (and how to love you through it).
To reconnect to pleasure, to presence, and to your own damn self.

This season is not easy.
But it is yours. And you are allowed to rise in it—fierce, soft, wise, wild, tired, tender. All of it.

Let’s walk this together.

With love,
Jo xx