Couple Counselling 101: What to Expect and How to Make the Most of Your Sessions

Hey if you're reading this you're probably curious about couples counselling - and I don't blame you! Relationships can be wonderful, but they can also be challenging, especially when disagreements and conflicts arise. As someone who's been through the ups and downs of a long term partnership, I know first-hand how hard it can be to navigate those rough patches. I'll be honest with you, my partner and I have been together for 30 years and about 10 years ago it all fell apart and we separated for a few years. Since then we have worked extremely hard to create a strong, supportive and loving relationship. I'm a relationship counsellor and it still happened to me, so I definitely won't be judging anyone. I have a realistic, compassionate approach and know how messy life can get. I'd love to share with you how couples counselling can help you and your partner strengthen your emotional connection, build intimacy with your partner and create patterns of more effective communication. 

What to Expect in Therapy

When you first start couples therapy, it's natural to feel a little anxious or unsure about what to expect. I feel nervous going to a complete stranger and sharing my inner world too! (I encourage you to look up my business page on social media and watch my videos. It will help you decide if I feel like a good fit for you.) Before couples come in I have them complete a comprehensive questionnaire that covers all the big topics like communication, roles & responsibilities, sex & intimacy, conflict, and also how they cope with change and other aspects of their personality. This gives me an idea about your strengths as a couple, the areas you are not connecting in and also what relationship counselling strategies might assist you best. In a typical first session, couples come in together and I guide them through a conversation about their relationship. I ask questions to help you both identify your individual needs and goals, as well as any challenges or conflicts you may be facing as a couple. 

Making The Most of Your Sessions

To get the most out of your couple counselling sessions it can help to take some time before your appointment to reflect on what you want to achieve from therapy. Consider what specific issues or challenges you want to address and what goals you hope to achieve as a couple. During your session, be as honest and open as possible. Remember these sessions are designed to support you and I'm not here to judge you for anything you say. Be willing to listen to your partners perspective and to work together to find solutions to any problems you may be facing. And finally, after each session take time to reflect on what you've learned. Continue to talk to your partner about what you've discussed and think about how you can apply the insights you've gained in your everyday life. Your relationship counselling sessions can be a powerful tool for building a stronger, more fulfilling relationships.

Common Issues Addressed in Couple Counselling

While each relationship is unique and the process will be tailored to meet your specific needs and circumstances, there are some common issues couples bring to counselling. One of the most common is disconnection, where partners may feel emotionally distant from each other or struggle to communicate effectively. Infidelity, trust and betrayal are other common issues that can cause significant strain on a relationship and may require the support and guidance of a therapist to work through. Couples may also seek counselling to address conflict arising from everything from disagreements over household chores, finances to parenting. Sexual issues, such as differences in libido or mismatched desires, erectile problems and body confidence. And of course, stress from life events such as illness, ageing, career changes can also take a toll on a relationship.  Remember counselling is a safe supportive space where you can explore issues without being judged.

Challenges of Couple Counselling

While couples counselling can be incredibly effective in helping couples build stronger, more fulfilling relationships, it's important to acknowledge that it's not always an easy process. Change takes time and it's necessary to be patient. Another challenge is that it can bring up uncomfortable emotions and unresolved issues that may have been buried for a long time. I encourage you to stay committed to the process. Relationship counselling is not a quick fix and progress can feel slow sometimes. Above all it requires a willingness to make changes and to prioritise your relationship. The good news is with a soft heart, hard work, commitment and patience most of the time it's possible to build a more fulfilling life together.

Benefits of Couple Counselling

As a relationship counsellor, everyday, I get to see the incredible benefits relationship counselling can bring to your life and your relationships. Through counselling, couples can learn to effectively communicate their needs and desires with confidence, knowing their partner will listen and understand. They learn to be more patient and kind with themselves and to approach difficult situations with calmness and clarity. Relationship and marriage counselling helps couples overcome infidelity, rebuild trust, build intimacy, and strengthen their emotional connection. Perhaps most importably, couples learn how to set healthy boundaries and hold them with grace, which can be the foundation for a strong and long-lasting relationship. Even when things get tough, you'll feel more confident and grounded, knowing that you are moving in the right direction. And if you do make mistakes, you'll have the tools and support you need to repair your relationship and move forward with greater understanding and compassion. Believe me, investing in your relationship through counselling is one of the best decisions you can make for yourself and the ones you love. 

Couples counselling can be an incredibly valuable tool for couples who are struggling with relationship issues. By working together in a safe, supportive, non-judgemental environment, couples can explore their feelings and learn new ways of interacting and connecting with one another. While the process can be challenging at times, the benefits of a stronger, more fulfilling relationship are well worth the effort. If you're considering couples counselling, I encourage you to take the first step. It's never too early to start but sometimes it is too late.